Saturday, June 30, 2007

Yet another reason why I love DC

Unlike mayors of other cities--looking in your direction Philly--DC's Adrian Fenty, an Oberlin alum, sent forth his most haterific aides to jump the line and get him a few of those newfangled iPhones. My favorite part about this story being when an onlooker challenged Fenty's man to"fix the schools first," Fenty's elite hater corps member flipped the man the bird and sneered "there's only 15 left." This is why I love DC.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Somebody has to make all those violins

For the past week Oberlin has been invaded by dozens upon dozens of campers, from soccer camps, to baroque music camps, to Scottish arts camps. Basically what this means a combination of things, one being that sitting in my office--always the wrong office--I'm barraged by lost children who make random requests that I have no business helping them with; the other being that there are bagpipe sounds coming from everywhere.

Fortunately, last night I had the good fortune of stumbling upon a yearly conference of violin and violin bow makers. I was attracted to this even based upon the sheer level of ruckus they were causing from Tank, more commotion than the hardcore/folk punk show--which they later ended up attending--was turning out. Some of us decided to walk over to see what all of the fuss was about and discovered a porch laden with smashed violin pieces, boozed up craftsmen from across the globe, and a badminton court with the racquets replaced with violins. That's right, badminton played with actual violins as racquets. After playing a few matches with our inebriated hosts we extended in invite to come get their ho-down across the street to a folk-punk band from Minneapolis (where else?). All-in-all the night proved yet again that the kids and the grown ups all love to get wasted and dance to some fiddlin.


What with democratic debates at Howard and attempted car bombs causing chaos in London what we all need now is a hot summer jam. You pretty much can't go wrong with Daft Punk and when you have someone who's made his whole career off of making beats that are basically just the original song you have a great combination for a summer hit:

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Summer slow jam!

I recently discovered that summer has officially begun! Thus it's time to bring you blazin' hot summer jams! The first installment in this series is from Ms. Mariah Carey with her slow jam classic "Always Be My Baby." Kickin' it off slow so nobody gets heatstroke.

Time to diversify your stash has published "Highs and Lows: An alternative annual report on the drug industry," and it looks likes sales are down for fiscal year 2007!

"As troubling for the industry, many consumers in the extremely important American market are turning up their noses at cocaine. By 2005 cocaine use in America was down to 2.3% of the general population, more than 50% lower than the rate two decades ago."

Supply chain problems are increasing as regulatory agencies tighten their grip on industries across the board. Soon, organizations may need to diversify their holdings in order to turn a profit. Market analysis indicates that, "other forms of contraband such as cigarettes, pharmaceutical drugs, endangered animals, or human slaves," are ripe for diversification by firms with established infrastructure and competitive advantage.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Our Love to Admire - Initial Impressions

On first listen, the "Our Love to Admire" is a synthesis of Interpol's previous output. It fits somewhere in the middle of the atmospheric gloom of "Turn On the Bright Lights" and the more straightforward groove pacing of "Antics." There a few tracks that lean heavily on an orchestral sound--Pioneer to the Falls in particular--and a few that rely on anxious pacing such as the 1st single The Heinrich Maneuver. Nothing has really blown my mind thus far, but I have a feeling this is the kind of album to grow on me and all-in-all this guy is satisfied.

Hater of the Day: Girl Talk

According to MTV, Greg Gillis--the sweaty, shirtless, laptop partier that is Girl Talk--is suspicious of artists in the rap community biting his style. Most specifically Kanye West:

"I've opened for Kanye this year in Vegas ... and I'm sure he showed up a second before he had to play and didn't see me or know I was playing, but you have to wonder about [the similarities]," he told MTV News hours before rocking the stage at at Bonnaroo. "Because no one has gotten back to me with positive support, but I've played in the same building as so many celebrities, and [2006's Night Ripper has] gotten around enough that I'd think you'd probably hear it."

Reality check Gillis, you bit your style from any 1990s Friday night party DJ on any random local top-40 hits radio station. Basically you are the reincarnation of the 60-minute-mega-party-mix. To try to insinuate a claim to originality b/c other artists sound similar to you is laughable at best. This is why I can't respect mash-up artists.

Our Love to Admire

The latest Intepol album "Our Love to Admire" has made it's way onto the internet. The rest of this guys afternoon will be spent checking it out with a Great Lakes sampler pack. Initial impressions soon to follow.

Oldest = Smartest

According to a recent article by the NYT, first-born children have been shown to have higher IQs than their younger siblings.

The average difference in I.Q. was slight — three points higher in the eldest child than in the closest sibling — but significant, the researchers said. And they said the results made it clear that it was due to family dynamics, not to biological factors like prenatal environment...Three points on an I.Q. test may not sound like much. But experts say it can be a tipping point for some people — the difference between a high B average and a low A, for instance. That, in turn, can have a cumulative effect that could mean the difference between admission to an elite private liberal-arts college and a less exclusive public one.

The study, undertaken by a team of Norwegian epidemiologists also indicates that middle children whose older siblings die gain the benefit of increased IQ in becoming the new eldest. So far all of you middle children out there trying to get into Harvard maybe your best bet is if your older sibling has an "accident."

The Vermillion Festival of the Fish

This past weekend Nina and I attended the Vermillion Ohio Festival of the Fish. While generally a wholesome event with fun for the whole family there are just a few points that should be addressed for festivals in the future:

1. As far as I can tell the primary purpose of this festival was to raise the self-esteem of the local girls by including just about every one of them as a pageant queen or princess. I may not know a whole lot about pageants myself, but the last I checked there was supposed to be some level of competition involved in the process. As the festival's site notes:

"On Friday young girls vie for the coveted title
of princess or queen in one of the largest festival pageants in the county."
The key phrase in that sentence being "vie" but as far as I can tell they weren't vying nearly hard enough as almost every girl I saw was in a prom dress with a sash touting their mystique as "Ms. Lorain Bean Curd Factory" or "Princess 2007 - Joe's Firewood Shack." With so many winners the whole event became absolutely boring. All I'm going to say is no one was glaring and nobody got tripped on stage.

2. The annual Firefighters Waterfight. Sounds like a great idea in theory right? Firefighters go all out by turning there high-powered hoses on one another with the last man standing after the onslaught declared the victor. However, this "long-standing" tradition actually involved a bucket hanging from a rope elevated over the street towards which teams of firegihters sprayed their hoses in an attempt to push the bucket across the line to their opponents side. Kind of like tug of war, except in reverse and more reminiscent of civil rights marches in the south.

3. Speaking of which, I've noted this time and time again, note to Ohio: You were NEVER part of the Confederacy. Hell there's a whole book about Oberlin being the town that started the Civil War. I know you guys might not like black people, and the government is totally trying to hold you down, but let's not get it confused, waving confederate flags around and talking about protecting your heritage doesn't make sense. Why? Because it's not your heritage. This makes about as much sense as me wearing a Canadian flag t-shirt around all the time and talking about how proud I am of Wayne Gretzky. Trust me, I live in Virginia where I can often be found driving down Jefferson Davis Memorial Highway--which remains baffling to me still, but that's for another day--don't do yourselves a disservice by pretending to be something you aren't.

Take these changes into mind Vermillion and we'll be back next year. Oh and be sure to add more catfish stands. Shit was dope.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007


So I've been "house sitting" (trying to make sure the neighbors don't see me in the house that Nina is house sitting) for the past few days. This involves a cat named Mr. Tangey who never comes out from under the bed, a disturbing amount of half-eaten food left by the owners scattered throughout the kitchen (like we're talking spoiled mayo and a dozen open jars of olives here), and an even more disturbing lack of internet access. This means that posts will probably be intermittent for the next few days (weeks?). Not that it matters since I'm pretty sure only AC reads this (note: AC I'm not dead). In the meantime though you should read AC's blog (which you should be doing anyway b/c he is unemployed and lives in the middle of nowhere). When I can find a steady connection I promise to regale you with stories of: Juneteenth, the Vermillion Fish Festival, and why Arnold Swarchenegger is actually right about something.

Catch you on the flip.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Hippies and Crystals

Time to kick back and see what The History Channel has to say about my arch-enemies: Hippies.
Go out and get your summer on kids. To get your night started I'll leave you with a video from the most partyrific dude to rock the Baltimore scene in years, Mr. Dan Deacon:

The Reproduction of Two Rocks

Madrid's Publicis Lado C ad firm has come up with a spot for Renault Megane that brings hazardous road conditions to a point of no return. Watch out for those reproducing rocks.

Collect Call from Hamas

What with the ongoing chaos that is the Gaza strip I'm glad that someone out there is throwing some humor into the mix:

"Reuters reported that one of the (Hamas) fighters picked up the phone and jokingly pretended to be speaking with the U.S. secretary of state saying: 'Hello Condoleezza Rice. You have to deal with me now, there is no Abu Mazen anymore.'"

That's some straight hater shit right there. Though upon wading through the haterism one finds a glimmer of truth in all of it. The international community certainly hasn't improved the situation by choosing to ignore the elected Palestinian government. Refusing to recognize Hamas as the legitimate government has done little to lessen their radicalism (Is anyone really surprised by this?). Marginalizing Hamas serves only to increase violence. Perhaps its the time to actually recognize Hamas and actually involve it in the governing process in which tasks other than suicide bombings and street fighting have to take place. Elections don't always work out the way we'd like them to, but ignoring them never does.

Mission Statement

It's summertime. Life is easy. News is rampant.
*Breaking News!*
4 of 6 Computers Back On Line On Space Station
See what I mean?

Time to bring back this blogging project. I'll keep this short and sweet.

Mission Statement
Candyvan is all about reaching into that mixed grab bag that is modern media and pulling out the choice bits so you don't have to get all scratched up by the razorblades that may be lurking at the bottom.

Got it? Good.

Here We Go Again

Bringing it back soon. In the meantime ponder the exercise in duration that is one of my favorite pieces of avant-garde cinema: Michael Snow's Wavelength.